O! Yea… For a long time, I was planning to say it nicely but ended so uncouth. As an ageing gay geriatric and one-time bitch who sobered with blooming love life – is there anything called as ‘permanence’ to us (read ‘gays’).
Trust me, we’re nothing else but a bunch of hack writers, lazy minds, and innate bigotry who think they know better than everyone else about LOVE. Let me correct, ‘we all know the best ways to make LOVE’. There’s a difference.
Gay men act like a Greek chorus, cheering on to victory, make funny stylists or the hilarious neighbors with swinging posteriors. They’re often hilarious. In fact, all gays are funny, except, when they’re thinking about settling down. Noticeable, they often have a major attitude, a mean face and are quick to temper and violence if ”dissed” and suddenly talk all ghetto while flapping their fingers saying, “Hmm…OMG! Etc. etc.” Ain’t you stereotyping? [Soliloquy: I’m trying to loosen the hard side of being a gay and been funny when gays are actually not funny.]
Get real. Yeah, some men are like that. Partly because of the head trip you’ve laid on the culture with your anti-gay propaganda. But frankly, this is a load of crap. It’s as mean a stereotype as the one they used in the old days with all sissy guys being flighty, screeching crybabies. They’re like little lost lambs who can’t think or act for themselves and don’t get credit for anything.
Look around, man! Our futures are bleak, boring, and lonesome! We’re all doomed. Yet we rejoice living.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Storytellers, Molesters, and Gays
Have you read the morning post? Ew! I hope you stay tuned as the nation’s marching band does its salute to gun racks; a group of rogues shows their sense of patriotism by molesting women in Mangalore pub. Would you still ask me ‘what makes me a gay’?
Extracts from one of the media channel read, “Suspected members of 'Sri Ram Sena' assaulted boys and girls, accusing them of behaving in 'obscene manner'. About five girls were beaten and chased away from the pub, two girls are being hospitalized. Reports also suggest that the girls were molested by the activities. Activists claimed that these women were against tradition and that these were Hindu girls, who were trying to get closer to Muslim men. Activists also accused of serving liquor to women.”
Nice alibi and then they think homosexuals are ‘child molesters’ and ‘pedophiles’; Ah! Give me a break dahl’ng.
Extracts from one of the media channel read, “Suspected members of 'Sri Ram Sena' assaulted boys and girls, accusing them of behaving in 'obscene manner'. About five girls were beaten and chased away from the pub, two girls are being hospitalized. Reports also suggest that the girls were molested by the activities. Activists claimed that these women were against tradition and that these were Hindu girls, who were trying to get closer to Muslim men. Activists also accused of serving liquor to women.”
Nice alibi and then they think homosexuals are ‘child molesters’ and ‘pedophiles’; Ah! Give me a break dahl’ng.
Mysore (Day 21)
First, a quick update on me and *I’m famished*. [Munches on the chicken sandwich with toothpick still in it and munch a large one.] O.K., I’m fed a bit and the ready to jabber…and, finally I managed to rent a place that’s enough to cover myself.
It’s pretty nice for a singleton with a mattress, two chairs and couple of newspaper. And, when you bolt the doors there’ are windows which keep you connected to the outer world. Ah! Interesting. Remembering the time, when I was a kid and the biggest worry was like... if you'd get a bike for your birthday or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast. Being an adult, it other side of the story. Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent.
Adulthood also bring authority to make rules. And, since I’m paying the rent, I will make-a-da rules. I like to take showers every morning and I don't like the panties drying on the rod. Also, I play the guitar in the middle of the night whenever I cannot sleep and I meditate every morning complete with chanting and burning incense so if you've got to walk around I'd appreciate a little tip-toeing. Also, I sleep in the nude. Au buffo.
Life is all about renting and been rented. Ugh!
It’s pretty nice for a singleton with a mattress, two chairs and couple of newspaper. And, when you bolt the doors there’ are windows which keep you connected to the outer world. Ah! Interesting. Remembering the time, when I was a kid and the biggest worry was like... if you'd get a bike for your birthday or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast. Being an adult, it other side of the story. Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent.
Adulthood also bring authority to make rules. And, since I’m paying the rent, I will make-a-da rules. I like to take showers every morning and I don't like the panties drying on the rod. Also, I play the guitar in the middle of the night whenever I cannot sleep and I meditate every morning complete with chanting and burning incense so if you've got to walk around I'd appreciate a little tip-toeing. Also, I sleep in the nude. Au buffo.
Life is all about renting and been rented. Ugh!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Once When I Lived Happily
I am big dumb ass who learns things hard-way and best in goofing. Luckily, there’s Providence that keep me on-check and interestingly, it works faster than any lubricants to shove it down my ‘clenched-arse’ hard way. The week was nothing less than that and now, I’m rejuvenated with twisted, messed-up, toffee-nosed arseline’ with goddamn itch.
O! It all started with a prospective phone call and I assumed to get into the real big audition that promised me a starlet. Worst happened when I started mouthin’ it across the town with the hope, ‘I won’t be ignored till they really ignored me. Jesus, I fled from my work coz’ of that. F***! Now, I’ve a year to live repenting. (I’m a big dumb ass, didn’t I said you that?)
The entire week I spend as big-slob sitting in a corner of a fishbowl and sulking. The ENTIRE WEEK…uh! But, I’ve no regrets for that coz’ its ends on a sweeter note. And, ah…the sweetness remain on my lips when they touched a pair of petulant. (Blush me) We kissed tonite and he cried. I hold him in my embrace tight wishing the world never to change the date. But, tomorrow will be a new day and I'd have been gone leaving my love ashtray yet, tonite I lived my life that I mayn’t have ever.
No SEX, No booze, No wandering could’ve take me so high. Thanks Cupid, for being so kind.
O! It all started with a prospective phone call and I assumed to get into the real big audition that promised me a starlet. Worst happened when I started mouthin’ it across the town with the hope, ‘I won’t be ignored till they really ignored me. Jesus, I fled from my work coz’ of that. F***! Now, I’ve a year to live repenting. (I’m a big dumb ass, didn’t I said you that?)
The entire week I spend as big-slob sitting in a corner of a fishbowl and sulking. The ENTIRE WEEK…uh! But, I’ve no regrets for that coz’ its ends on a sweeter note. And, ah…the sweetness remain on my lips when they touched a pair of petulant. (Blush me) We kissed tonite and he cried. I hold him in my embrace tight wishing the world never to change the date. But, tomorrow will be a new day and I'd have been gone leaving my love ashtray yet, tonite I lived my life that I mayn’t have ever.
No SEX, No booze, No wandering could’ve take me so high. Thanks Cupid, for being so kind.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
When Dreams Come True
As the swearing-in-ceremony of first-ever African-American U.S. President inches for the big storyline for media; it's one of the longly awaited dream that world has ever dreamt. For 45 years now, after Luther's historic speech, seeing a black man takibg the oath of world's most powerful position, is something that few people in King's generation and later would ver have thought and, thus they dreamt.
And what happens after you dream? You wake up, get ready and go out to work. That's what Obama has now. He got the biggest job and the world like to see how the President do it before the world economy meltdown.
With the world, India is awaiting.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Dated Love, Last Night
Love isn't some treasure that needs finding; it's something that *just happens*. It happens to anyone, at any given moment; even to the most sceptical mind.
I read somewhere that falling in love happens when someone sees you like you see yourself. Whatever happens tomorrow, or for the rest of my life, I'm happy now... because I love you. Last night, Az came with his usual charm and I was disarmed. To those, who like to know *the bedtime story*, we had it but it was more than that. We discussed many a things (even the victims…) which put in uneasy for certain reason till I sensed ‘it was love’. (I beg your pardon, shhh!)
I read somewhere that falling in love happens when someone sees you like you see yourself. Whatever happens tomorrow, or for the rest of my life, I'm happy now... because I love you. Last night, Az came with his usual charm and I was disarmed. To those, who like to know *the bedtime story*, we had it but it was more than that. We discussed many a things (even the victims…) which put in uneasy for certain reason till I sensed ‘it was love’. (I beg your pardon, shhh!)
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Lost My Lyric
This part of my life is called ‘Confused’. I am waiting for big news but that seems to ditch me. I’m trying other options but seem to trying in vain. Wasting myself and for god knows, why? Yet…I love to wait.
Friday, January 16, 2009
When the President is Ignored
His 13-minute talk from the White House East Room, as a customary practice among American Presidents, but the nation was not paying attention.
The tradition of a farewell address began with George Washington. His stern defence of an independent America free of foreign entanglements and deaf to the intrigues of Europe was the nation's first great speech. Citizens in villages across the country staged annual recitations for decades after Washington's death. Dwight Eisenhower used his valedictory to issue a memorable warning against a permanent "military-industrial complex" - an alert more quoted than heeded.
Bush clearly had these examples in mind, as he wove an inventory of the familiar American virtues into the fabric of his urgent priorities. But the nation stopped paying attention and been oblivious to otherwise telecasted TV.
The tradition of a farewell address began with George Washington. His stern defence of an independent America free of foreign entanglements and deaf to the intrigues of Europe was the nation's first great speech. Citizens in villages across the country staged annual recitations for decades after Washington's death. Dwight Eisenhower used his valedictory to issue a memorable warning against a permanent "military-industrial complex" - an alert more quoted than heeded.
Bush clearly had these examples in mind, as he wove an inventory of the familiar American virtues into the fabric of his urgent priorities. But the nation stopped paying attention and been oblivious to otherwise telecasted TV.
As my friend from US quoted: "Before last night, there were only two noteworthy presidential farewell addresses; Washington's and Eisenhower's. After last night there are STILL only two noteworthy presidential farewell addresses." Thanks, Monogamous
The Lost World and Crooked Me
The only best part of my work life offers is to visit cities and monuments across the country; otherwise, the job sucks. And, yea! Despite of my ON / OFF relation with Mysore (presumable the shortest halt station) I managed to walk into the Wodeyars royal chambers.
A high disappointment except of the shameless disposal of silver and golden artefacts at every nook or things you look around; Mysore Palace (unlike as its title ‘magnificent’) lacks the lustre. Built in Indo-Saracenic style, in the heydays of puppet Maharaja’s of British regime, the architecture is a fusion of many worldly style namely, Hindu temples, Moslem and neo-Gothic line of buildings; with domes, turrets, arches and colonnades, the palace is a treasure house of exquisite carvings and works of art from all over the world on to luxuriously furnished rooms of royal India.
The lavish interiors were stunning with rich Victorian iron girders & columns, colourful stain glass, intricate ivory inlaid doors and gem-med flooring. [I can’t explain the pain of not being allowed to take photos.] O! The majestic Durbar Hall has an ornate ceiling and many sculpted pillars, icarved rosewood doors and ceilings some with inlaid ivory work, marble figurines, collections of caskets, paintings of the members of the royal family and other objects of personal use exhibit such opulence, though age as worn them out a bit with slight discolouration.
From the kaleidoscope of colours in the stained glass windows (I stole that line from the lonely planet, it just fits so perfectly) it was absolutely amazing. Nevertheless, compared to other royal palaces (leave aside Rajasthan), this one lacks artistic sensibility and aesthetically decrypt.
If you ask me the seat of Asaf Jahi dynasty (near the landmark of Hyderabad) – Chowmahalla Palace is a one of my most visited palaces which mesmerized of its style and elegance. What attracts the most is the marble-floored Durbar Hall with 19 Belgian chandeliers adding splendour to the lost era and Yeah, the priceless line of cars including Rolls Royce of early 1900s. Extravagance unperturbed. (Worthy to mention, what add to Chowmahalla’s beauty is the priceless picture of Niloufer Khannum Sultana – O! She’s the woman and have you seen the man.)
Chowmahalla Palace was built in the 18th century and until today is the world’s most outstanding royal household and interestingly, the clock above the main gate to Chowmahalla Palace (or affectionately called as Khilawat Clock) has been ticking away for over a thousand years. Mysore Palace has none of these and yet always a recommended. Huh!
A high disappointment except of the shameless disposal of silver and golden artefacts at every nook or things you look around; Mysore Palace (unlike as its title ‘magnificent’) lacks the lustre. Built in Indo-Saracenic style, in the heydays of puppet Maharaja’s of British regime, the architecture is a fusion of many worldly style namely, Hindu temples, Moslem and neo-Gothic line of buildings; with domes, turrets, arches and colonnades, the palace is a treasure house of exquisite carvings and works of art from all over the world on to luxuriously furnished rooms of royal India.
The lavish interiors were stunning with rich Victorian iron girders & columns, colourful stain glass, intricate ivory inlaid doors and gem-med flooring. [I can’t explain the pain of not being allowed to take photos.] O! The majestic Durbar Hall has an ornate ceiling and many sculpted pillars, icarved rosewood doors and ceilings some with inlaid ivory work, marble figurines, collections of caskets, paintings of the members of the royal family and other objects of personal use exhibit such opulence, though age as worn them out a bit with slight discolouration.
From the kaleidoscope of colours in the stained glass windows (I stole that line from the lonely planet, it just fits so perfectly) it was absolutely amazing. Nevertheless, compared to other royal palaces (leave aside Rajasthan), this one lacks artistic sensibility and aesthetically decrypt.
If you ask me the seat of Asaf Jahi dynasty (near the landmark of Hyderabad) – Chowmahalla Palace is a one of my most visited palaces which mesmerized of its style and elegance. What attracts the most is the marble-floored Durbar Hall with 19 Belgian chandeliers adding splendour to the lost era and Yeah, the priceless line of cars including Rolls Royce of early 1900s. Extravagance unperturbed. (Worthy to mention, what add to Chowmahalla’s beauty is the priceless picture of Niloufer Khannum Sultana – O! She’s the woman and have you seen the man.)
Chowmahalla Palace was built in the 18th century and until today is the world’s most outstanding royal household and interestingly, the clock above the main gate to Chowmahalla Palace (or affectionately called as Khilawat Clock) has been ticking away for over a thousand years. Mysore Palace has none of these and yet always a recommended. Huh!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
What's wrong with me?
The year begin with controversies, falsifying accounting that rocked IT giants, and ongoing recession grappling harder; my life continues in an unusual way. In fact, it's complicated enough and the last thing I need, is more drama. For reasons unknown, I'm yet to make up my mind (in fact, I tried hard) and get to more confusion when a new leaf branched. There's somethin' drastically wrong with me.
Nah, it's not the Hamletian or Macbethian syndrome (that often I sufferfrom) but a strange complexity. Truthfully, I don't like what I get and crave for new. When I acquire 'the new' the weird ME starts disliking it. Ihate to continue till I drop it as fast as I could. (Hmm!) I'm sick. [Sic]
What's wrong with me? I dunno, I seriously dunno! I'm exhausted, bored to death, and want to escape. On the second thought, it strikes me when I've to work. (Give me a minute) I think I nailed it there. I'm happy daydreaming inthe cozy comfort of my laptop while the finger toggles between tabbed iExplorer. I'm busy scheming to find a holiday and get to love, anyways!
Life is happy when I am not doing anythin' and I've nothing to do. WTF! (Confessing: In past 72 hours, I enjoyed smoking 100 sticks, I talked,thought, and day-dreamed about Az for uncountable minutes, and I lazily dozed off every single ticks.) I am sick. [Sic]
'.my job sucks! Or, that's the way I perceives it" and has somehow convinced yself.
Nah, it's not the Hamletian or Macbethian syndrome (that often I sufferfrom) but a strange complexity. Truthfully, I don't like what I get and crave for new. When I acquire 'the new' the weird ME starts disliking it. Ihate to continue till I drop it as fast as I could. (Hmm!) I'm sick. [Sic]
What's wrong with me? I dunno, I seriously dunno! I'm exhausted, bored to death, and want to escape. On the second thought, it strikes me when I've to work. (Give me a minute) I think I nailed it there. I'm happy daydreaming inthe cozy comfort of my laptop while the finger toggles between tabbed iExplorer. I'm busy scheming to find a holiday and get to love, anyways!
Life is happy when I am not doing anythin' and I've nothing to do. WTF! (Confessing: In past 72 hours, I enjoyed smoking 100 sticks, I talked,thought, and day-dreamed about Az for uncountable minutes, and I lazily dozed off every single ticks.) I am sick. [Sic]
'.my job sucks! Or, that's the way I perceives it" and has somehow convinced yself.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Mysore (Day - 3)
Work finally begin and so does the life.
Couple of things start to move (yet to take a momentum!) but rollin'. The day begin as the regular chores of workin' with spreadsheets and trying to devise all that done is imperfect. But, sooner or later the dies within me fast and I find myself inside the glassed cubicle with the speaker phone does all the T-A-L-K. (Hmph!) It means more spreadsheets, more documents, and gawd! I don't have the access to Internet yet. (Hmph again!)
Sooner or later, few good ol' things start to pour and I had a coochie-coo with Az. He was warm, flirty, and 'missin' me'. (I am missing you too. [Monolouge]) We talked a while and complained of how much we miss each other and both were serious at our end. We really meant the word. Partha was another who keep me busy with his usual snubs. (I love that too... [Monolouge again])
Mysore, otherwise is a nice place to stay but unsuitable to me. I think 'its gonna be a shortest stay' and if Providence plays it right: I'm goin' back home but what about Az! (Flight charges.... I always have the solutions.) Till then its sleep time at 22:49 P.M.
Hmph!
Couple of things start to move (yet to take a momentum!) but rollin'. The day begin as the regular chores of workin' with spreadsheets and trying to devise all that done is imperfect. But, sooner or later the dies within me fast and I find myself inside the glassed cubicle with the speaker phone does all the T-A-L-K. (Hmph!) It means more spreadsheets, more documents, and gawd! I don't have the access to Internet yet. (Hmph again!)
Sooner or later, few good ol' things start to pour and I had a coochie-coo with Az. He was warm, flirty, and 'missin' me'. (I am missing you too. [Monolouge]) We talked a while and complained of how much we miss each other and both were serious at our end. We really meant the word. Partha was another who keep me busy with his usual snubs. (I love that too... [Monolouge again])
Mysore, otherwise is a nice place to stay but unsuitable to me. I think 'its gonna be a shortest stay' and if Providence plays it right: I'm goin' back home but what about Az! (Flight charges.... I always have the solutions.) Till then its sleep time at 22:49 P.M.
Hmph!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Mysore (Day - 2)
I am yet to dig to work and start complaining. It's 48 hours and more when I confined to the office campus and literally jabbering... initially, I was skeptical about my role and potentiality. Now, I'm scared coz much is being expected and I've no clue how the success meter will tick.
The city is otherwise quite sleepy and there's nothing much to do. By the noon, when most were either dozing before their desktop or tapping the keyboards nonchalantly; the city roads were washed with winter sun filtered from the net of palm groves. I sit in the cafeteria and take a sip.
Life has somewhat relaxing. Not much work to do, nobody much to talk. (O! I am sitting in a distant cubicle and thus, there's nothing to play prank or jolly around). Thought of A.... and Partho's phone call keep me somewhat occupied. O! There's a good news (if it could be consider as one) I suddenly realized that I've minimized smoking. And, compensate that during the night time.
Let me record each day for this job and figure out how soon I get bored.
The city is otherwise quite sleepy and there's nothing much to do. By the noon, when most were either dozing before their desktop or tapping the keyboards nonchalantly; the city roads were washed with winter sun filtered from the net of palm groves. I sit in the cafeteria and take a sip.
Life has somewhat relaxing. Not much work to do, nobody much to talk. (O! I am sitting in a distant cubicle and thus, there's nothing to play prank or jolly around). Thought of A.... and Partho's phone call keep me somewhat occupied. O! There's a good news (if it could be consider as one) I suddenly realized that I've minimized smoking. And, compensate that during the night time.
Let me record each day for this job and figure out how soon I get bored.
When Cupid Strike
Looks like Cupid just shot an arrow when reindeers were marching their way with the chirpy Santa Claus from chimneys.
Oh, I know, it ain’t a wonderful feeling. I feel like a completely new person! I've never had this much fun in my entire life! I’m otherwise a freaky, boring techie guy who flirt over Internet and drink cups of tea. Suddenly, I start loving musicals and nachos. I visit malls and overpowered by shopping frenzy. The list is growing within me like enzymes and I’m worried.
O! I love the night sky and the starry dreams. I love the seashore and entangled feet. And Jesus! I suddenly love the idea of ‘getting married’. Isn’t it crazy? Now, I look at myself and ask what I’ve done to myself. Worried of what love has done to myself.
Oh, I know, it ain’t a wonderful feeling. I feel like a completely new person! I've never had this much fun in my entire life! I’m otherwise a freaky, boring techie guy who flirt over Internet and drink cups of tea. Suddenly, I start loving musicals and nachos. I visit malls and overpowered by shopping frenzy. The list is growing within me like enzymes and I’m worried.
O! I love the night sky and the starry dreams. I love the seashore and entangled feet. And Jesus! I suddenly love the idea of ‘getting married’. Isn’t it crazy? Now, I look at myself and ask what I’ve done to myself. Worried of what love has done to myself.
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