Gays and Societal Repression - My Take

After following the news that ‘Malaysia condemned Muslim gays’, which we all have got and breathed heavily in secrecy; even though it is for a second; and now when the topic is being sensationalized peppered with views from two different tangents as its support system to rationalize – I like to take a dig. (Well, it’s my gay-ic habitat to dig at this and opine.) 

The discussion open two threads – how historic values being distorted and how convulsed religious belief (esp. Muslim) lead to condemnation of gay liberation worldwide. 

Histories or no histories – of a nation / state or country have ever influenced society towards ‘gay tolerance’. If that would have been the case, then countries like India, Pakistan, China or United Kingdom would have never seen the rise of LGBT movement within themselves. None of these nations, till date, are full-fledged tolerant to LGBT commune. (No matter, how vehemently we feel proud about being ‘a gay’ we all are closeted at certain levels.) [Brickbats following my way…] Expecting the entire world to be tolerant is like believing to a ‘doomsday’ and sky to fall. 

Since I am not a privileged ‘globe-trotter’, hence, I would not like to take case studies of different country, irrespective of my knowledge about world histories and social system. Therefore, I use India and its varied social systems, which I have lived and experienced as the baseline for the talk. 

Indeed, we are old as ancient, like the white-flowing beard of Abraham; with rich heritage influencing our architecture to literature to social system. We are first to have exalted ‘pornology’ and named it ‘Kama Sutra’. A book that combines ‘philosophy’ and ‘science’ in a very spiritual way yet sexual all-through – a theory which has never been countered worldwide. When you look at the book closely, it gives way to some of the interesting theories in a sublimated way. 

First, ‘sex’ is most important part of our living because ‘a good sex can liberate mind, soul and body from the baser instinct to a spiritual orgasm’. (I wonder why most of the gays from PR snigger when others discusses about sex and only sex – doesn’t our glorified history or philosophy support people to think, talk, eat and sleep sex all through.) 

Second, ‘sexuality’ is practiced and got many forms – which are naturally acceptable. There is nothing wrong being a bisexual or zoo-philia or being dominative or kinky; our most exalted literature and murals on the walls of famous temples depicted them with acuteness and adorned. (Why do then, most of the gays from PR turn vindictive to bisexual profiles or domination; leave apart the zoo-philias – people will get heartache, if somebody confesses?) Interestingly, none of these have shown pedophiles or female infanticide, which are man-made and un-natural.

If observed, these paintings or murals are done on the walls of temples or Buddhist caves – which means ‘sexuality’ in any form leads to liberation. Thus, when your minds have done it, and the baser instincts are satisfied then you concentrate on spiritual liberation. A starved and seeking mind can never attain god-likes. Period!

  

I might be going wayward but not exactly. The reason to highlight the above point is largely to societies have always undergone changes, which fashioned our lifestyles and thoughts, time-to-time; irrespective of how glorified the histories of a nation were.  It is therefore the social system but, even that have seen changes in a most rapid form, since its evolution. The community of transgender and trans-sexual have played a formidable role in many of the historic periods of Indian governance but ignored later. We have tales of Timur but nobody knows about admiral Zheng from China. (Sic!) In present world, therefore ‘transgender’ are looked upon with disgust, fear and abhorrence; even among the so-called ‘gays’ who don’t accept them as their own but with reservations.  

So, a society always changes under the influence of a political reign. In this context, a similarity could be found between the thread and Malaysians. Now, a political system of a country do draw its influences from the religion that majority practices. In this case, the most controversial – Muslim beliefs is under the scanner.

Coming to Muslims and its fanaticism, ‘yes’, too many cooks have spoiled the broth. But, this is applicable to Christian countries also. In fact, Muslims tend to practice what Mohammed preaches but Christian follow what nobody have stated by stealthily putting them under Jesus’ gown asking the follower to ‘suck him up’. Surprisingly, one of the above comments try to equate Vedas and Koran and Bible (though I am not a right-wing fundamentalist) yet the comparison is absurd.

Vedas are all-comprehensive yet liberated i.e. the interpretations are individualist whereas Koran and Bible are to a large extent, self-governing; thus leading to repressive interpretations. All three have discourses on ‘ways of living’ yet Vedas or Upanishads have never ceremoniously dictated their ways instead stress on the fact, ‘liberation of mind and soul from the worldly ways’. Thus, those who follow it can always interpret the readings in more translucent and individualist order. This is also applicable to Buddhist order.

Comparatively, Mohammed or Jesus in their preaching, have been restrictive and stress on ‘few world functioning as the way to attain liberation’ (like, ‘condemnation to homosexual feelings’ (which is clearly dictated by Mohammed and Moses)). What Jesus and Mohammed have failed to realize is worldly order and society undergoes changes with time; instead they have acted upon more like ‘god’ who knows the secret of life, hell and heaven. Vedas, Upanishads and Buddha never treaded therein.

Now, the teachings or ways of Mohammed are so restrictive that invariably it leads to self repression; which is not a good way. A man or a woman, when follows self-repression tend to have urges towards what is denied. My experience with Muslim men shows that ‘…they practice homosexuality or bisexuality or zoosexuality with ease but never discusses or accept openly.’ Similarly, countries which followed the teachings of Mohammed to bring societal regularization have often witnessed large number of gays in closeted or practiced homosexuality but in denial. In fact, when Article 377 was not diluted we have practiced it and most of the PR-profiles have enjoyed it. In fact, those who were real-time gays or transgender have their own world with own governed rules and we played what we believed with an honesty.

After dilution of 377, what Indian society has witnessed is large number of men folk joining the brigade claiming to be ‘gays’ but act more an opportunists or ‘sex-escapade’. They tread into the gaydom, largely for cheaper and easier way to ‘f***’ or ‘get f***’ thus, causing confusion among the gay order itself and the society. We have lost the rules of game, we have lost the fun and turn into ‘sex slaves’ or ‘whores’ to be precise.

Why I am ranting so much? The reason – I believe, is because, a society must have certain regularization else too-much democratic way leads to nothingness. It is too early to be panicky or shocked with the news. We need to look at how Malaysia and the states, in discussion, take the ruling to the people – if it leads to a catastrophe then we might need a serious discussion. We must agree ‘majority of the world is a householder’ and gayism is an opportunity but inherent practice. [Rest in peace.]

Searching Paigah Tombs @Hyderabad

It was to keep the dead peacefully, after they are gone. The sunny surroundings warming the cold bodies in dark graves are a refreshing ‘find’ to otherwise, ruined historic Hyderabad. In fact, I’m bored looking at the city ruins – dilapidated and sandy; a painful eyesore.

And, after three years of haul; finally the discovery is enthusing in many ways. The rich stuccoed and intricate ‘jalis’ of Paigah Tombs, or as locally famous ‘Maqhbara Shums-Ul-Umra’ tucked in one of the dingy alleys is almost a discovery or invention. Created in 1787, the several generations of Paigah nobles were found to have their graves in this particularly gorgeous mausoleum where the sunrays from the perforated marble screens draw geometrical designs and floral patterns on the calm marble floors.

[Unfortunately, many of the Hyderabadis are unaware of its existence, even the Google Maps shows a more complicated route; which leads to a graveyard instead. The best way to make to Paigah Tombs is to hire an auto from Yakutpura Railway Station to Owaisi Hospital, Santosh Nagar. The tombs are located in the lane opposite to the hospital.]

Bye! Bye! Durga Puja...

It arrived and passed, like the past years. With all the thrills, joys and celebrations casketed in sweet lil’ boxes with silver foil and given away; life is back to regular activities. (Huh!)

And, my usual rambling started...

This is first, in three years, when I was left home alone after ‘Az’ has dumped me out. I tried to break free often but no avail. Sit back home, stared the walls, watched porn, and slept for hours. Next time, dear lord, please do not visit because occasions make me ‘sick’ and ‘lonely’.

Planning to re-work on my sagging blog posts; what do you feel?

Stranded and Strangled Life!

Another year…another festive season!

This is the third year, in a row, when I will be at home with myself. I’ve almost forgotten the sweet fragrance of embers in ‘pandals’; the mesmerizing thousand lamps and beautiful kohl-laden eyes of Durga.

One more year (this time)…and I will be at den; sulking and wounded. 

Miserable South India

If faith is well-ground and belief is personal then, why you need to pay Rs. 100-500 for a temple visit. I am too disappointed with Southern part of India, primarily on two grounds:

• First, the unkempt and almost ruined heritage which once housed many a great dynasties; forts in South India are into a pathetic state.
• Secondly, the privileged rows to pay a visit to the deity. No wonder, why the temples in South India procure unaccounted wealth. You are charged get a good glimpse of the god else a ‘free darshanam’ will need a strained and jostling effort yet the god is almost hidden.

 And, then who said India is not a biased land.

 

Cantankerous Cacophony

I’m your man, Mr. Mephistopheles if god makes any more children. And, I’ve decided to sell me to your harem to get poked with pitchforks by red men with horns and goat-legs than being with bevy of cantankerous cacophonies.

Now, if you’re through with the mumble-jumble; do spill out the beans before I die from unnerving boringasmic. Damn! O.K., with clear thought and throat I proclaim that ‘world could be a nice place to live with adults only if those infants yet to pubertize leave us graciously.’ C’mon you lingbie…else I blow off.

Dear Blog, you won’t understand the point because there’s ain’t a childroid blog to torment thee. What rod? Childroid – the ones who can cause hemroidal pain on your background. Huh! Oh, you don’t believe… (huh, you!)

Fine, hear this: while returning from the most unorgansmic tour from one of the private parts of Southern India which offer nothing apart of teariness; I battled my way to occupy one of the window seats in a snail-like train. Thankfully, the train left the station timely and run amidst the green-filled landscape bringing relief to my sloshed and nicotine-sanitized mind. Droopy eyelids gets heavy as the mild track song sings me a lullaby. The busy compartment filled with strange and unknown Travelers Bum of all shapes, sizes and gender engaged in their selves while I got sleepy and fell sloshed.

An hour might have passed…the train cascaded over the sunshine track through numerous stations while I was sloshed when a screech woke me unwarranted. J-E-S-U-S! No Mephistopheles. Swarmed with gang of childroids – on floor, on the seat, on the passage, blocking the exit door; the compartment looks like a dungeon. (Moron, stop behaving a gay.) HELL-O!

I’d have been less hyper, if the train wouldn’t have delayed for more than two hours to reach the destination that otherwise take five hours. This must be ‘a divine injustice’ coz’ as the train start delaying the horror multiplies. The rest of the journey was a tortuous tour through hell. Screeching children, jumping children, crying children, annoying children – bevy of childroids popping up from everywhere and add to nuisance.

Twitched eyebrows, lips, eye-bags; I try to twitch every possible muscle to express the annoyance but nothing crease out the woe. My 8-hour long nicotine free mind now gets perky and looks for a gunny bag to stuff the bevy of childroids and beat them merciless. I wonder why people are not born adult. Is childhood necessary? F***

Random and Randomness: When Mind Stop Thinking

It’s time for me to unwind myself and take to sojourn journeys to rehabilitate. Life is otherwise a booing bitch till a travel plan is doled out. This reminds me that “the last time I did the roads is two-year back…” So, before I again set forth and my blog turns into a mini-travel book let’s look at the things around. And, a horror struck.

The world around is burning (where do I step). London is burning, States is in debt. Asia is terrorized and Japan catastrophe. Skeletons tumbling out of the parliamentary closets, the common man shed his/ her immune self, jilted lovers find comfort by axing their ex’s, faggots settling for marriages. Where do I step?

Strangely but deeply, I began to believe that the 21-12-2012 is real. A new order is set to motion and before it happens let me look at the seas, mountains and plains before they all washed off or exploded. 

Birth hood is inevitable and I might born in a new way.

Indian Railways

Dear Minister…

This is an open letter, could be high on emotion, but deserving an honest version that any of the review statement churned from bureaucratic masturbation after responsibly dissecting the causes of train accidents in India. My version is neither populist nor propagandist rather heartfelt.

To the best of my memory, the last time I ever had lost any of my relatives in a train accident dated back to 1940s. Those were the time; when travelling by train was nothing short than a ritualistic practice with passengers tucked into a holdel (an un-fashioned military bedroll) and carry a personal porter too. Train journeys were considered as stress-filled and often sinfulicious. Interestingly, the concept of coal engines and waiting rooms add glamour to the journey. During one of those journeys, my distant maternal grandmother met with an accident and left abode. I was unborn then.

Generations of childhood, in our family, have been told the story and the harrowing experiences about how the family members’ strugglefest to trace her body lying under a heap of corpse. She was in her teens and newly married – petite, beautiful and young. Her body when handed over was charred, disfigured and partially decomposed. She was gone but her ordeal remains a talk-point during many of the train accidents we have witnessed, over the years.

Since then, my family has made many a train journeys. Some did it frequently while other occasionally but, we did enjoyably. We travelled alone, we travelled with families; we travelled during the happy summer vacations and (yes) when critical emergencies struck household. In fact, many from my generations and generation preceding us, has spend most of their memorable moments with Indian railways and still cherish them lifelong.

Indian railway, during my generation and ones preceding, is the lifeline to us. The mud-cup filled with sweetened milky tea was the favorite drink with unmatchable taste. The stretched acres of land with rows of palm trees, or the large banyan groves where men resting in a sunny day, or the changing land from red-to-brown-to-black; seen through the window of a moving train, brought us close to a realization about the vastness of our country called ‘India’. Indian railway contributed to our learning when we were child.

For me, the Indian railways always had a special connection thus it pains to witness it Erod. The proponents might misguide it as ‘advances’ but amidst of yearly up-gradations the system falters to meet the basic and fundamental requiries.

Dear Ministers, there are many a thing that the commission report never register except of number of casualties or the tariff rates or the new introductions in rail route; is how a commoner like me, feel when travelling around. If you pay notice:

1. I don’t feel secure about the iron tracks anymore. They no more shine like they do when I was a child. In fact, the last time when I walked by the train tracks I noticed scratches and the screws are being rusted. Can you polish the tracks once again and spare few crones to buy new ones?
2. My hometown is in Delhi while my relatives stay eastwards. Thankfully, we got ample of trains – so many that often we end up not reaching the destination on-time due to traffic congestion. On the other hand, when I settled in southern part of the country, due to professional compulsion, I almost lost being in touch with them. We got only few trains to connect and all of them remain over-booked (seasonal or unseasonal) so my mother can’t visit me often. She is sixty and diagnosed of having acrophobia. Can you make more frequent trains connect the north to south than north to east ways?
3. Ah! Interestingly, when India became an IT-hub and almost all my relatives or friends start doing something or other with computers – we become the most technologically developed country. Yet, none of us have a full-fledged and flawless online railway system to build – neither the nation nor department. What a shame?
4. My paternal house is located in distant suburbs of Kolkata where there was an unmanned check post. When I was child, we used to cross the tracks to reach the platform. It was 20-years back but 20-years later, during one of my Konkan vacation I have crossed multiple unmanned check posts and faulting signal systems to reach destinations. Life returns to a circle but with where we have the ‘proclaimed advancements’.
5. Hospitality! A distant word that loses its definition either airways or railways. I’m sure we don’t mind spending few extra bucks while reserving a berth; provided the washrooms are cleans, water is safe and free-flowing, environment is hygienic, and food is hot and tasty.
6. While writing the above comment, I stumbled upon the word ‘reservation’, which we need but rarely gets. Three-month advances, multiple changing of dates still ‘no tickets’ unless a tout is religiously followed.
7. The arrival and departure of trains coined the term Indian Standard Time (or IST), which invariably means we don’t mind being late or never be on time. An efficient traffic system and all of the above could definitely change the meaning, if acted with diligence.

The moral: While the Indian Railways seems to have perfected rescue and relief operations following accidents, it has not met with much success when it comes to accident prevention. The safety drive needs a review to identify the grey areas — be it signalling, track replacement, or the status of the rolling stock. It is time the political class stopped viewing the Railways as a plum platform for patronage disbursal and saw the Railways for what they are: a vital, but failing component of India's transport infrastructure that has the capacity to make or break the nation's competitiveness.

 

 

 

Ministries must work now lest it could get too late.

Burden of Love

When debt began to burden your soul, it’s time to payoff. Love follows the same path. I no more feel, it’s worthy to write about ‘love’ so passionately because the passion dried. And, now I realize: “people have won their ways to be with me till they feel there’s nothing left”. So, time to put him in a trash-bin. Adieu love!

A Woman in the Chapel

Sitting before the altar with her fingers clasped to each other resting on her chest; her head bowed with a few streaks of loosened hair veil her eyes. She shed a single drop of tear. She spoke the most silent prayer.

A demure, frail woman as she wants the world to picture her but images could be deceptive. She wasn’t meant to be a skylark or a doe; nestling in a broken elevator and look at the weather change. With her ambitious wings spread, she can eclipse the sunny sky with thickened darkness where calm-bloodied moon shines.

The immortal Maria! It all changed when the ambitious-bee dunks her so deep that she didn’t mind walking down the memory lane, as one of the most notorious femme-fatale of crime of passion. Two of her victims – a naval officer and a media-man battled for her till one of them lie down in his grave while other languish in the jail.

Lovelorn Maria as she reclaims. None of them loved her soul but the body; and this enraged both to struggle till one of them pulls the dragger and the body fall. Poor girl, Maria! Grievously, she witnessed him bludgeoning and hackneying the body of second consort to pieces before they were exhumed in a deserted place. Maria stood by the survivor, like the Lady Macbeth, compassionately. A passionate crime or crime of passion that she witnessed, designed, and executed with ambitious grandeur; ironically exonerated by one compassionate judgment.

For three years…she watched the weather change in the sky from her pigeonhole…now, the sky remains prostrated but her fangs clipped. (Betrayed Maria!)

About New Self!

I am nothing but ‘a chronicler’ – of the times and my life. Both changes in most dramatic ways and often narrate a sordid story.

Love Him...I Mean the Writer

For a long time, I was searching for a suitable inspiration to rejuvenate my otherwise, fading pen. This article published by DAWN, a daily from Pakistan, did it. Thanks to the man who taped the conversation. I am lovin' him.


Read it here: http://www.dawn.com/2011/05/05/dead-man-and-the-sea.html

Tere Liye...

दर्द की क़ैद से लील'लाह बचाले मुझको
अब सुकून धुन्दती है, ख़ाक नज़र मेरी...

My Veritable Thought

At times, I surprise myself to extreme. This is one for record that made me realize ‘what’ve I spoken’. In fact, I am poked to make speech ‘like this’ not realizing the veracity of my words being so profound and truthful.

“Men can never be loyal. He was not even loyal to his own God when he ate the fruit from the ‘Tree of Wisdom’. Ah! Then, he goes shy and put his cowardice act to be the ‘fallen hero’ and gain sympathy. But did ‘ye talk about Eve – fallen, disgraced, cursed yet; she remain loyal to ‘her master’ throughout.

Gays have more of woman in them. Don’t you know we love loyally and disgraced always,”

I am Humble Citizen (With No Voice)

Amidst the recent uproar and candle-light marches for Anti-corruption in India’, I maybe a humble citizen with almost no voice yet I like to say a few things to the committee setup for Lokpal Bill and government.

If we look at the key issues that led to the movement, they are:

1. Politicians and bureaucrats misuse their power and primarily involve with act of bribery. A major portion of which goes into their own pocket through ‘International banking accounts’.
2. Politicians involved within scam or other corrupted practices, enter into the election fray, unless they are declared ‘guilty’ by the court of law. 
3. Our court practices or judicial system is cumbersome and articulate which invariable lessen the effect of ‘being punished’ if people are found to be involved in corruption. 
4. What makes the system fail is largely the association of investigating agencies and committees setup the government which are either ‘hand-in-glove’ or ‘feeble’ to act bravely and honestly.
5. Punishment orders sanctioned under the court of law either fee-penalty or years of bail able imprisonments.

So, although we claim to be the largest democratic nation we are prey to authoritarian cudgels. The reason, I can’t support for a negative voting, as many have said is because it involves ‘extra cost to the country’ and ‘a debatable issue’ for when to conduct a negative vote. Therefore, what remains to us are few of the options:

• A parallel process of top-down and bottom-up system should be taken into consideration. Receiving bribe, if considered as a crime, it is equivalent to offer a crime. Thus, government also has the equal right to maintain a check-and-balance. It also instills a fear among the commoners to offer bribe and get prosecuted. 
• Individuals with criminal or corrupt records, even if not prosecuted or found guilty under the court of law, should not have right-to-vote and right-to-elected. Information about MLAs, MLCs, and MPs should be available over the public domain to review prior to each parliamentary session. 
• Special fast-track courts should be setup to try the cases with information available to the public to monitor and review the court proceedings. The investigative bodies should be independent and free to submit their report without any sanctions from Law Ministry. Rather, President or Vice President of the country could have a ruling on the same.
• Individuals found to be guilty in the cases, should be punished heavily with both fee-penalty and years of imprisonments. Additionally, the scammed amount should be confiscated by selling the properties of accused and his/ her family members (who are indirectly benefitted) and return to the Treasury.
• Importantly, the committees entrusted to look upon the cases should be accountable and free to act independently reporting directly under the supervision of President or the Vice President of the country.
• Transparency is important to eradicate ‘corruption’ from the civil society. Secrecy within a business and the failure to disclose important information about specific projects can facilitate the payment, receipt and concealment of bribes. Given the challenges posed by distance and unfamiliarity with overseas customs and regulations, businesses may wish to consider how to monitor the implementation of anti-bribery procedures in overseas offices and business partners.
• A review committee or President should be made accountable to inspect and verify the sanctity of the commission and its weekly proceedings. An independent review committee overlooking the Investigating Commission and Personnel can be helpful in providing agencies undergoing structural change, or accessing records, with an insight into the strengths and weaknesses of its anti-bribery policies and procedures and in identifying areas for improvement.

It’s hard to claim to be honest but trying to be one can be beginning step.       

What's Wronging If Gandhi is Gay?

Shot inside a tacky studio, the black and white photograph with two men dressed in loose-fitted casuals each spotting a prominent moustache and a bald head; could be anything but least impressive unless some chirpy birdie inform you ‘they’re couple’. A shrill passes through your veins and widened the iris to read through. (O! Yea…). The man on the left has his right foot angled above and slighted to other man’s feet. The burly man seated on the right has his toe arched to the angled feet. [I spotted…I spotted… I spotted…Yea!] Ain’t it another homoerotic fantasy? (Duh!)

The photograph would never had find its place in the history of mankind unless you’re been told – That’s Mahatma Gandhi with Herman Kallenbach. Salacious! A naughty smirk smoothens your facial muscle and you wink.

A revolutionary from the Asian peninsula, by his own right, who inspired the country of billions and many other nations to fight for independence lost his own to ‘Mahatma-ism’. Ah! It’s tough to be ‘God’ or ‘God-like’ coz’ you live with the fear of being crestfallen. The Gandhi, we know, is a victim of avatar-syndrome and remained controversial throughout his life and after. Torn between Puritans and Radicals – Gandhi remain as a subject to experiment for multifarious truth untold. Coincidentally, he himself has authored ‘My Experiments with Truth’ to flag. Do Gods or God-like men have sex?

Ssshhh…! Are you on weeds?

Heavens! Weeds were generously chewed by Lelyveld who in a high; was busy sniffing the stinking Gandhi’s loincloth that smelt of Her-man. Agree, ‘the white westerners has a morbid fascination for Gandhi’s sexuality’ but then, such a colorful personality who once lived in his see-through loincloth and traveled bare-chested and sleeping naked with 17-year old Manu (his great niece) and other young women, is enough to fuel the fascination. But…I’ve a question.

Gandhi wrote many letters which are studied by scholars to gain an insight to the mind of this ‘great man’ and contributed to cement his position as ‘Mahatma-to-the-world’. Many of these letters talk about his views on nakedness, sexual chastity, state of yogic self-control, strive for spiritual purity that the world has read and accepted hands-down. Then, why there’s a clamor when certain biographer’s extract shows him as ‘racist and homosexual’. What are we more concerned – Gandhi being ‘a racist’ or ‘a homosexual’?

I believe it’s the later one – homosexuality. It is the tabooed word, in a traditionally-thickened society that everyone practices, in their closet, but never agrees to the term. Whether blame it to the archaic rule sanctioned and imposed by the British Government OR the boxed Indian values that practiced as social customs – dual Indian values on homosexuality is an evident. So, the new biographer when reveal ‘a homosexual Gandhi’ – The Nation and those with a capacity for sane and logical thinking were hurt. Gandhi could be anything but never ‘homosexual’. (Ha! Ha!)

As a gay, I might be a depraved, immoral filth but the term ‘Upper House’ and ‘Lower House’ is evidently homoerotic signatures and quoted in Gandhi’s letter to Herman. So, he claimed to be the ‘giver’ while Herman though ‘macho’ receives. (Wink, wink!) Interestingly, a close scrutiny of rare footages makes me believe that ‘the great man’ is quite effeminate. Look at his sitting postures, feeble tone: and a quote from Manuben “…Gandhi as my new Mother”. My various escapades for sex with wild and robust men who claimed to be ‘Upper House’ show signs of effeminacies after years.  Thus, they turn into ‘Lower House’ as they grow old. Similar resemblance can be found from Gandhi’s self-proclamation, “…by becoming a woman” as Bose written in his autobiography.

But, my intent to write this blog is NOT to assassinate the character of somebody who’s god-like, because irrespective of his flaws and follies, he remain a great inspirer to the world through non-violent practices. In simple terms, he’s indeed a great man but definitely not ‘a Mahatma’. The intent is to analyze the issue of ‘gay-ism’ in a society, where I live, after Article 377 has been castrated.   

     

Whether, Gandhi nurses homosexual tendencies and prefer ‘men’ over ‘women’ in his personal life is strictly a private issue which needn’t be hurtful, if the society accept ‘homosexuality’ as a normal act.  Except of the fact, we can’t beget but definitely ‘try it hard’. [Gosh!] Let, Gandhi be not judged for what he prefer rather accept him the way ‘he was’ because he ain’t a Mahatma but, ‘Father of the Nation’ deservingly. So, is homosexuality around you – accept it with no snigger or shame coz’ they are one among ‘you’.

It doesn’t burns, mutilates, defaces, defiles, disfigures, destroys, or tramples upon your faith. It needs a support and recognition to remain humane. So is Gandhi who will remain ‘Gandhi’ – whether gay or un-gay.

A World Cup...Till Then!

The party stopped, the flags didn’t waive, a deafening silence fall as billions of Indians watch the ‘Lord of Cricket’ walked back to the dressing quarters as the team grasping at 31/2. For past 28 years…the multiplying billions have waited and now, they have to wait more.

Cricket, [through un-written law] is not a gay-ish game rather looked down compared to rugby yet made me seat at the edgy corner and bite the nails exasperatedly. The moments are getting tough, real, and suffocating. But ain’t World Cup is all that especially when your team is fighting for the title.

I was barely 8 years old to understand the importance but definitely a proud witness to 1983 Prudential Cup when Kapil Dev lifted the cup amidst jubilation and surprises that created a history in itself. Past 28 years, we reminiscence the historic moment; we watch the moment telecasted and re-runs until hope deflates. Till the year 2011 happened…

The adrenaline rush, the edgy seats, the swooning-thumping-and-deafening roars hold a perfect stage for the billion people to wish for a dream. And, what a match it is? Indian team with a staggering start turned as fighter hitting every ball and then a big SIX for the finale. Everything else then was a history. The maidens [Zaheer] bowled, haunting apparitions of failed Tendulkar and Sehwagian era, and wayward Sreesanth who over-spelled – all now a part of history that no one care.

What remains is! A revelry. I was barely eight and once Kapil Dev lifted the cup I went back to sleep. But, twenty-eight years later I realized what is meant when dream comes true. Was been out for while...its a reverly going around my house. Crackers! Horns! Screams! And a World Cup to every billion of us. (I can't stop smiling for the past 15 minutes now.)

Emotionally Yours...

Let me burn the bridges between you and me…

The dark soil will then leads to the path

…with burning embers of anguish

Nazist-Fascist Corporate Fool

I ain’t surprised to one of the recent reports (indialeaks.in) where a self-promoted professor namely Saxena is given the charge of director after his predecessor completed the term. The controversial claim happened to scrutinize Mr. Saxena’s unconstitutional moves such as appointing a Dean with dubious records, reviewing and reversing the past orders, and made a mess of the entire teaching business.

The icing on the cake was however remains as he took the ‘cherry’ to himself by promoting himself without forming any expert committee. Holy Jesus! He has taken every rule for a ride. The news report concluded with a plea to raise the voice against injustice.

I’ve something to add. This is not one such case but only reported. Personally, I know atleast one such high-handed person who’s a self-proclaimed follower to Hitler and support the Devil’s mind emotion. The man, like Saxenaji, has been terminated by the past-employee on the ground of lack of competency managed to have occupied a crème-da-crème position with another competitor (thanks to slacked HR policy). Among the unchallenged liliputians thus, he hold a durbar thronged with equally incompetent courtiers and make fuzzy mess unreported.

I’m happy to know another Saxena-in-closet and grant him a 21 ballistic salute with a hope that one of those bullets will hit [his] groin. Amen!

Pizza Delivery @10 A.M.

When the global recession was melting the world market, I was securely into a job which need to me be seated for a strenuous hours to get the hard-earned moolah. Most of these, however, go back to the market – shopper malls and fast food joints, as I am one of the self-proclaimed fine diner. But, how vulnerable could be my life I wouldn’t have realized unless I had the experience of talking to a tele-operator who called upon me.

The event occurred on a Sunday morning, 10:15 A.M. to be precise. After dodging the streaming traffic at Begumpet main road and having exchanged cuss-word with couple of auto-drivers; I finally hoped into ‘one’ with faulty meter (discovered later). It was then the operator called me while I was busy making a mental map of grocery items to add, subtracts or multiply for the month.

Struggling to remain seated with constant dribbling and bumps, I have shown much of chivalry to the highly accented lady on the other side, which normally I don’t do. The fault lies with me indeed! [However, given here is extract of the conversation between me and lady operator from Dominos Pizza, Hyderabad]

Operator: “Hey low saar! I am culling from Dominos Pizza and we got e-special[l…] tan-percent off on Double Bust pizza with Choco-Lava cake at Rs. 25/- Free.”

First, it was a shock then I was fumbled with the idea of how could twenty-five rupees for a choco-lava cake could be considered ‘Free’. But, I was more flabbergasted with what is expected from me hence, I grumpily asked the lady with a twitched expression.

Me: “O-K! What you wanna me to do now?”

Operator: “Yes saar!”

Me: “What yes? What you want?”

Operator: “Saar, you get e-special[l…] offer from Dominos of 10% for ordering Double-bust pizza…”

Me: Are you going to return me the money for the pizza I have ordered last night?

Conversing with most tele-operators from retail sector worthily boost your morale of being ‘well-learned’ compared to fellow callers. It’s a myth, like many others, among us [Indian] to believe that we are more learned than many of the world population because we help them to make the computers. The truth is, those among us who use these computers hardly understand a well-constructed statement in English using American or British grammar irrespective. The lady is the fine example of what not to speak to a tele-operator working in India.

Operator: What sir?

Me: What “what sir”? I’m not getting what you wanna say. BTW, I’m on road. I am travelling. You can call me later.

Operator: Saar, sir! One minute.

Me: Now, what?

Operator: Saar, if you order a double-pizza now you get 10% off as per the scheme. You’re one of the chosen candidates from our database who get to win this offer.

Me: OK, fine. I’ll keep a note of that when I place an order. And, thanks for that.

Heavens! Either she is dumb or it is me. It take both of us 7-minute to get to the actual motif of the call. Undeniably and humbly, I was elated because I haven’t had the opportunity to win anything ‘Free’ or ‘On Offer’ so far in my lifetime. Bless the lady and the company. But, I think there were more unimaginable surprises in store which I have to counter.

Operator: Sir, you need to place the order now to get the offer.

Me: What you mean ‘NOW’?

Operator: I mean, you can place the order for any double-bust pizza with us. Can I take your order?

This left me to a bizarre state. I am baffled, amused, annoyed, fumbled and deeply puzzled. And, surely it could leave others into a same mindset if somebody asks you to eat a double-breasted or busted pizza at 10’o clock in the morning while you’re on your way to grocery store. I should have disconnected the call by making myself believe it’s one of the regular jokes which you get on other day. But I couldn’t and carried that for some more time. What a waste?

Me: W-HAT? You wanna me to eat a double-busted pizza at morning 10:30 while I am on road inside an auto. Is this a kind-a-joke?

Operator: You can place the order now. We will deliver it to your add-rest

Me: Holy Jesus! Who hired you? Who gave you the job, honey?

Operator: Par-don me.

Me: What holy shit is this? You are calling me at morning 10’ish with damn’ offer and expect me to eat a double breasted or busted pizza while I am travelling on road. What made you think somebody would ever respond to such weird calls.

Operator: I am sorry sir…

Me: You better be. And, for holy sake put down that goddamn’ receiver.

The audacious operator, however, not sure whether I am asking her to send me a parcel or not so she confirmed, “What should I write sir? Interested or Not Interesting.” My patience however, has been tested to the full throttle and I have no more.

Suddenly, I was reminded of old saying “It’s dangerous to argue with a fool”. So, I disconnected the phone and shifted my attention to the faulty meter to start a fresh argument.

Emotionally Eroded

…in fact, I’ve start to erode gradually but fast. A careful comparison with things around brought me close to telephone set in my house which, in a mobile world, gone silent to extinct. So, am I.

From a geeky, ambitious, with bouts of random emotional overflow at the drop of hat, I’ve been to force to live in a burrow, cajoling myself to daydream to remain engaged neurotically. I fast more often, help myself to get hourly glistening, and silent. I’ve become extinct.

It’s hard to remain alive with so much of constant erosion – professionally and personally occurring at the same time. And, I’m drained off thinking ‘why the world been so harsh to me’. A silence reverberates. So, till I’m prescribed dead I’m left to breathe and emotionally eroded.

Dreaming Last Night

Most often, I end up dreaming now-a-days. Not a good sign though but it’s a kind of escape from current state. And, last night I dreamt about being dead – leaving my bereaved mother. It was a sorry[ful] sight but I found myself sleeping nonchalantly.


No friends, no shrouds, nobody around – it was quiet death, and I was laid in some unknown earth by few men. I dreamt of my mother listening to the rituals and was the only person “sad”. [Sigh!] This brings me back to normal senses and spent the night recalling one person who’s close to me; I find none. All are ‘history’. [Hmmph!]

Living among Homophobes and Homosexuals - A Tie

Okay, everyone got these fundamental rights like ‘a flaccid dildo’ – have it on the closet but unusable. That’s what the ‘Big Book’ says. So, last week we had a dildo fight.

It all started when a regional news cramp from undersexed staffers sneaking into the private chambers of few gay men and end up sniffing them unwashed. However, the best is yet to come (or cum). High on their orgasm, these crew-members start ejaculating televizle ending into a society creampie. Jesus!   

Well, somebody has to pay the price […in a homophobic world]. So, they pick a few ‘un-naturals’ (I don’t support); made them look sleazy, soft-core maniacs and did an expose.  Come on! What a journalistic masturbation! Did somebody realize it’s an intrusion and exposing that the world is either homosexual or homophobic? Goddamn’ revelation.

So, what the ‘Big Book’ did then? Snub the fundamentals. (I got an advice. ‘Let us live’: we do no harm. But make a living by loving [our] self.) To the moral police: Don’t you have better things to do in life?

Eroding Education - 1: (Series Post)

I’m an Instructional Designer [since it will take hours to explain my job so better skip that for another post] worked with oppressively numbing cubicles in hermetically-sealed offices with Corporate Alzheimer’s; my job sucks!

Interestingly, one of my workplace recently published a sales presentation wherein claim to bring change to the lives of 3.8 million people that inspires me to write the blog. (Unedited reaction: WTF!) Excuse me Corporate Ballers, did anyone realize that we do nothing but produce pseudo-animated content over the Flash application and host it over a Management System to bring moolah. Neither the client nor we cared whether it makes any contribution or not. Outrageous!

Proponents of Instructional design and eLearning gurus may take any offence but I’ve a reason to my big mouth. This goes as a disclaimer which will be ignored as a common practice.   

First and foremost, we are protégés of an education system that force students to ‘rote’ their lines without realizing the conceptual framework; and secondly, we’re made to believe a fact straight-jacketed than question or discover them. No doubt, National Education System is at grave degradation phase. Thus, we can’t revive or bring a change to a single, forget the millions. [Hyper-reactive agents can react now.]

Now, let’s debate. According to my opinion (which I’ve on everything around me) we ain’t made as ‘thinkers’ thus we can’t be good educationist. Period. Our self-learning is based on politically-practiced education thus; we can’t rationalize our own thought beyond belief. We are the by-products of the education system that politically muzzled to make citizens a state or nation.  

Citizen, as universally defined, is a native or naturalized member of a state or political community. Thus, he/she is a political person [who] owns certain rights or duties towards the state or the nation to which it belongs. Hence, the two word – ‘citizen’ and ‘politics’ should be used interchangeable and inseparably. Now, how does this influence the education system of [our] society?

This is a big mess. A citizen being a political person has its own belief based on certain principles or dogmas propounded by leaders who influences the thought. Every man is not a leader or a thinker. Some seeks inspiration. [Factual tip: Most follow and few leads.] This is the key to erosion within the education system and learning process or a citizen gradually.

Gifted with special oratory skills, the leader(s) always has an edge over the fellow citizen because they grow powerful in a society to the extent of being invincible and authoritative – both into a Democratic or Fascist environment. You can’t avoid this or control. No voting out is not the solution. It’s a mechanism to replace one political system/ ideology with another without changing the fundamental issue. And, what is that?

In a political system, leaders believe to bring a change and set an example that continues to exist for the rest of the Earth Life. In a process, leaders get involved in brainstorming to shape the nation’s education system and use it as a mode to propagate. Citizens read what the system offers. Thus, leading to the conflict of thesis and anti-thesis within a politically charged society where a particular ideology is strongly enforced and forcefully.  

In an instructional way, ‘forced learning’ is a formula to educational and mental depravation. Generations after generations of Earth Life we succumbed to it thus, education in the modern society that eroded beyond recognition.

Education is the fundamental platform to make citizens of a state or nation and should [be] freed from political or biblical governance. If [education] is impartial in nature, and not influenced or governed by the political institutions, [it] invariably leads a person to rationalize, question, and inquire till they discover. 

I would love to throw examples to support my theory but hold them meanwhile for other posts; thus creating a thread for future discussion. To conclude, “…education system doesn’t need a revision but absolute rebuilding”. Given this purview, I don’t agree that web learning solution companies in India (at least) could even contribute or have scope of action within.

The sales presentation should read, “…we are edging faster to a Corporate Cannibal by notoriously by eating up the Mom and Pop elearning shops out of business.” Come let’s be the party poachers. 

One Serious Blogging Finally

Tuesday morning 7: 30 a.m.

Logged into my system and then to Facebook like any other day. But, it wasn’t a usual day – it can’t be one again. Posted with photographs of giggling friends in the [now] unkempt lawns of the institution that played a pivotal role in my growing up; my Wall was never as colorful as it is today.

Ah! The School…the school friends…the famous Spring Fest…

In fact, nothing has changed except of the ceiling that heavily needs a plastering, wooden benches that need carpentry, and wall that needs to be repainted. Despite of shortfalls, the old lady stands in silence with bellowing holiness within. She witnessed many school-goers [like me] crawled onto her and then, left. Years-after-years!

Personally, I’m go-getter kinds who lend many but borrowed a zilch. I’m quite a brooding old autocrat quite old-fashioned and speak a lot. I boast for having ‘never begged’ even when I need the most – [but] – had never returned to the institution which made my beliefs. I never realized or cared to paint the walls, or replace the broken glasses or offer a hand to facelift – the institution.

Springs after spring…more depreciation added. And, this spring a piety within me have usurped. Time to give back; time to give it back to one that matters ‘the most’.

First Photo Blogging

Of late, I am concentrating hard to become a Pro-Photographer and lose the tag of being 'the amateur' or 'wannabe'. The journey is truly evolutionary rather than unprecedented. But, it's nice to camouflage and make it 'historic' by crediting my 'Boromama' who instilled within me the passion with his superb work. (Most of which are now lost...sigh!) 


So, it take three years experimenting with my Nikon Coolpix P60 and then, P90 and travelling around the parts of India till I dare to make these worthily posting that, on personal note, is my best. 

The  Blue Window: Shot at IDPL Colony, Hyderabad the color and the setup was tempting and I hopefully did the required due. Windows and doors often attract me maybe I love the idea of a 'peeping tom' but there's always a mystic associated to the partially ajar windows and door. However, the key point of this photograph could possible be the wall which broken open. 

White and Blue: I always wish to do this photograph and have seen it among many great photographer's profile. This is my version, shot in Balanagar opposite to Az's house. 

A Small Wish: Oh, yea! I did some photo-editing for this and it doesn't appear 'bad with splash of coloring. Shot near the Balanagar, Hyderabad (opposite to the mosque where Az was praying). A short trivia to this photography - when a was alarming a soulful rendition over the loudspeaker praying 'wishes be granted', the child stand before the Hero Honda bike thoughtfully. Someday, his wish will also be granted...hopefully.

School Days: This photograph reminds me of the turmoil of 'being schooled'. The strappy bag laden with books which are of no-use and open no window to growing up. The dusty road is symbolic to hard life need to walk, so keep marching. Books give no education but life does...

Happily Employed: Shot nearby the school area at IDPL, Hyderabad where the two children fiddling with the public phone booth to figure out whom to call. School days are full of grievances and there's no helpline. I always had a silent days when at school or college. Maybe, that's why I look at children in a pitiable light. 

Quacks at Best: India has splurge of quacks and sex-afflicted life. People are curious, eager, violent but unaware of their sexual self. The advertisement posted by one of the roadside quacks nearby the Balanagar, Hyderabad is equally confusing as its client. Just read it...(Enjoy!)

Windows again: The broken window looking at the dark room through the cobwebs is one of the best shot after a long time of photography. They tell story of a life that once have occupied it but now disowned and ignored. The photography reminds me of the life an its practicality (maybe, that's why I have changed it to black-and-white). Used and Ignored!

Once a Ruling Prince: The AP9R 1138 is an Ambassador that once being the pride to its owner (when bought) but now stand under the shade with layers of dust on its wind shield and bonnet. She is ignored and dying a painful but slow death. Life is like AP9R 1138. 


All photos are copyrighted by me. 
Regards 

Anything interesting…

Scratched my scalp more than often, rephrased the title more than often, smoked cigarettes more than usual but still trying to figure out anything interesting. The answer is ‘zilch’. Ui-ma! How could I turn to a ‘Plain Jane’ in past one-year?

Trying hard and harder and now hardest…! Anything interesting…(zilch). There’s nothing, almost nothing in my life worthy to pen-down. So, finally give-it-up and zilch!

Yearly Random Thoughts…

Resplendent wintry morning… and the year in its full throttle. There’s many a thing happened since the last time I blog. Wish I could have been writing more often now.