When the global recession was melting the world market, I was securely into a job which need to me be seated for a strenuous hours to get the hard-earned moolah. Most of these, however, go back to the market – shopper malls and fast food joints, as I am one of the self-proclaimed fine diner. But, how vulnerable could be my life I wouldn’t have realized unless I had the experience of talking to a tele-operator who called upon me.
The event occurred on a Sunday morning, 10:15 A.M. to be precise. After dodging the streaming traffic at Begumpet main road and having exchanged cuss-word with couple of auto-drivers; I finally hoped into ‘one’ with faulty meter (discovered later). It was then the operator called me while I was busy making a mental map of grocery items to add, subtracts or multiply for the month.
Struggling to remain seated with constant dribbling and bumps, I have shown much of chivalry to the highly accented lady on the other side, which normally I don’t do. The fault lies with me indeed! [However, given here is extract of the conversation between me and lady operator from Dominos Pizza, Hyderabad]
The event occurred on a Sunday morning, 10:15 A.M. to be precise. After dodging the streaming traffic at Begumpet main road and having exchanged cuss-word with couple of auto-drivers; I finally hoped into ‘one’ with faulty meter (discovered later). It was then the operator called me while I was busy making a mental map of grocery items to add, subtracts or multiply for the month.
Struggling to remain seated with constant dribbling and bumps, I have shown much of chivalry to the highly accented lady on the other side, which normally I don’t do. The fault lies with me indeed! [However, given here is extract of the conversation between me and lady operator from Dominos Pizza, Hyderabad]
Operator: “Hey low saar! I am culling from Dominos Pizza and we got e-special[l…] tan-percent off on Double Bust pizza with Choco-Lava cake at Rs. 25/- Free.”
First, it was a shock then I was fumbled with the idea of how could twenty-five rupees for a choco-lava cake could be considered ‘Free’. But, I was more flabbergasted with what is expected from me hence, I grumpily asked the lady with a twitched expression.
Me: “O-K! What you wanna me to do now?”
Operator: “Yes saar!”
Me: “What yes? What you want?”
Operator: “Saar, you get e-special[l…] offer from Dominos of 10% for ordering Double-bust pizza…”
Me: Are you going to return me the money for the pizza I have ordered last night?
Conversing with most tele-operators from retail sector worthily boost your morale of being ‘well-learned’ compared to fellow callers. It’s a myth, like many others, among us [Indian] to believe that we are more learned than many of the world population because we help them to make the computers. The truth is, those among us who use these computers hardly understand a well-constructed statement in English using American or British grammar irrespective. The lady is the fine example of what not to speak to a tele-operator working in India.
Operator: What sir?
Me: What “what sir”? I’m not getting what you wanna say. BTW, I’m on road. I am travelling. You can call me later.
Operator: Saar, sir! One minute.
Me: Now, what?
Operator: Saar, if you order a double-pizza now you get 10% off as per the scheme. You’re one of the chosen candidates from our database who get to win this offer.
Me: OK, fine. I’ll keep a note of that when I place an order. And, thanks for that.
Heavens! Either she is dumb or it is me. It take both of us 7-minute to get to the actual motif of the call. Undeniably and humbly, I was elated because I haven’t had the opportunity to win anything ‘Free’ or ‘On Offer’ so far in my lifetime. Bless the lady and the company. But, I think there were more unimaginable surprises in store which I have to counter.
Operator: Sir, you need to place the order now to get the offer.
Me: What you mean ‘NOW’?
Operator: I mean, you can place the order for any double-bust pizza with us. Can I take your order?
This left me to a bizarre state. I am baffled, amused, annoyed, fumbled and deeply puzzled. And, surely it could leave others into a same mindset if somebody asks you to eat a double-breasted or busted pizza at 10’o clock in the morning while you’re on your way to grocery store. I should have disconnected the call by making myself believe it’s one of the regular jokes which you get on other day. But I couldn’t and carried that for some more time. What a waste?
Me: W-HAT? You wanna me to eat a double-busted pizza at morning 10:30 while I am on road inside an auto. Is this a kind-a-joke?
Operator: You can place the order now. We will deliver it to your add-rest
Me: Holy Jesus! Who hired you? Who gave you the job, honey?
Operator: Par-don me.
Me: What holy shit is this? You are calling me at morning 10’ish with damn’ offer and expect me to eat a double breasted or busted pizza while I am travelling on road. What made you think somebody would ever respond to such weird calls.
Operator: I am sorry sir…
Me: You better be. And, for holy sake put down that goddamn’ receiver.
The audacious operator, however, not sure whether I am asking her to send me a parcel or not so she confirmed, “What should I write sir? Interested or Not Interesting.” My patience however, has been tested to the full throttle and I have no more.
Suddenly, I was reminded of old saying “It’s dangerous to argue with a fool”. So, I disconnected the phone and shifted my attention to the faulty meter to start a fresh argument.
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