एक ख्याल

For the one who brought back 'love', I quote:
कुछ पल की हैं यह ज़िन्दगी,
अब मुझको तुम जी लेने दो...
इस पल में न रोको मुझे, इस पल को सांसों में भर लेने दो...
कल फिर होगी सन्नाटा
कल फिर खामोश रहोगे तुम भी,
बस! आज मुझे जी भर के तुम्हारी बाते कर लेने दो।

The Mixed Bag

For a long time, I put my big board on the ‘bin’ and thought living as privately as I could. But, it didn’t work out well and self-realization gets through. And, as we edge for the year to close, I am recounting the numbers of haves and have-nots. So, let me put it this way.

First, things I shouldn’t have done (though don’t regret on them) but I’d try not to repeat:

• Never cease to my creativity again. Life otherwise is dull and IS my natural outlet. For past 2-months or more I stopped blogging, I stopped travelling, I stopped myself from anything that I earlier involved or love to… As the year come to close, I’m a sulkin’, broodin’ old man who get to recluse and lost my touch.
• Never lease to too-many worldliness. Life otherwise take you to ride and end at dungeon. For couple of months, I lost myself to too-many greediness, smelt my money hard, feel bodies close and lewdly together, and lost to ‘unholy’ me. Earlier, I tried not to touch it but failed to keep the commitment. As the year come to close, I’m a sulkin’, broodin’ old man who get to recluse and lost my touch.
• Never try a double-mind. Life otherwise make you choose the worst. When you failed to respond to your instinct and take the second-best option, you lost to the only choice you have. Rest of the options are meant only to keep the life-running, if not happily. As the year come to close, I realized my double-mindedness left me as a sulkin’, broodin’ old man who get to recluse and lost my touch.
• Never live in Hyderabad for more than a week. Life otherwise find a sludgy show. The closed landscape makes the city as the Siberia of India where life finds no outlet and most goes insane. If not the others, I do. Four years back, when I visited Hyderabad I return to Bangalore with no penny in my pocket. The last 8-months left dead and me dried. I start believing that there’s an EVIL resides in the city and we don’t equal. Amidst the fluorescent city lights, I’m a sulkin’, broodin’ old man who gets to recluse and lose the touch.

PS: I can’t write more. There’s something wrong today; a VERY MACBETHAN night tonight and I sense ghosts visiting me.

Pre-Birthday Dash

Tomorrow is my birthday and I had a feel of 'lowness' now. Azeem is not coming to the party. I lost to his (when compared) ex-lover. In fact, he never had loved me so deeply as I did but I do... I do... and it pains now.

I lost to love and feeling low. Tomorrow is my birthday and I won't be celebrating again, anymore.

Incorrigible Incompetent

Morning, 10:30 A.M: The office buzz is in full bloom when the lanky fella’ walks in with this shirt drooping like a hangar clipped to a thin rope. Standing six-feet and something, he looks like a skeleton with his pale bucktooth exposed to the morning air smelling rotten tomatoes. He reminds me of a scarecrow. The man is mad!

Staring to his blue Windows, since the morning—he pretends, scratches, and lastly gulp a throat of spit; ever wondering what NOT to do; OR to be correct ‘how NOT to do’. Rather, he is the most incompetently incorrigible slob I’ve ever encountered.

That’s exaggeration. Oh, NO! Let me recount the list of tasks he has done for past one week. Hmm…, I can’t even recall anything except of having catch him ogling at the galaxy (the screensaver) for nearly 6-hours (and he come to office at 11:00 everyday). In fact, it’s unworthy and a sin to write anything (him…) but I always get somebody as a pain to my ass. And, he’s the latest. (Thus, I don’t mind bitching. In fact, I’m lovin it.)

For past eight years, my work life has been engaging and enriching yet this is one of the BEST examples of where I shouldn’t be. I commit harakiri to my career but trying to find a way out. (Hope, the wish will be granted soon.) Till then, living with incorrigible incompetents. WTF!