[This part of my blog is about ‘love’…yea! I can’t say a lie to my blog and now wish my blog be never discovered. But let me confess. Wish it might get me relieve of myself. I’m a writer. They say I play with words but honestly words haunt me. I am sick of words. And, today for once in my lifetime I am wordless…I lost my words…” This part of my life I call it “Deeper feelings for a Dr. I have heartache”]
Dear Love...
Dunno! But for some strange reasons I would remember the *SUNDAY*. A silent path full of clumsy green trees on the sidebar, brighter sun showing over the sky and stray dogs coiled. A quiet place I've found. A lonely place! Haunted by the broken cry of a solitary crow, the dry bones rattle of paled beech leaves and the shades of those who crowd close 'round, felt the warm touch when I’m heartbroken. The occasional bicycle bell and silence outspread otherwise it was surreal. I’ve haven’t had a lonesome Sunday like this for ages!
I lighted my last cigarette and watch the smoky ringlets fade in horizon. There’s writing on the wall you’ve quoted, “I desire for a known he knows me not. An unknown feeling I don’t cherish.” I remember…I remember again…I cried…I… An unknown feeling entertains me night long, did you realize?
Reason? Duh!
Reasons aren’t important now for I am love struck. It’s only the feelings of a ‘lost love’. I know I'm in love when I see you. I know I’m in love for I long to see you. Not a muscle has moved. Leaves hang unruffled by any breeze. The air is still. I have fallen in love without taking a step. Sometimes you land as a mall fish to your bait. You unhook him very carefully and place back in the water. You set him free so that somebody else can have the pleasure of catching him. Poor fishy! The little one had wounded him more deeply with an intoxicating love bites and return loveless.
Where to begin? I’ve lost my way. Look at my eyes; the breeze of pain, deepening loneliness I can’t stand over the aisle saying you ‘goodbye’; I would die. You’re beautiful. You’re mysterious. But, why are you so scared and apprehensive, so defensive and withdrawn? I know not. Several times this evening, I want to cry aloud; I returned empty-handed.
I shall never have another. I couldn't, now.
I keep worrying that by cutting you out completely, I'll be burning the bridge I so desperately believe will one day lead us back to each other. But, it’s a fanciful idea for I know the match will end in futility. Dear… Things have gone so far that it is quite impossible to restrain myself. I feel an awful fool. Will I ever come to that happy moment? A faint imagination filled me often if I’ve had a DAY with you and me. I would read you poetry in a moonlit night, walk by the countryside and thousand *kisses* to tell “the sickness the doctors cannot cure, the wounded...”.
Wish, if I had one perfect day...I know that isn't come true. I'd lose the very single moment we met. Deep down in the hearts of all of us there dwells a lonely ache, a desperate yearning for those we love, and a fear. A fear of becoming forgotten men (love) but one thing I must do perfect, I wouldn't say goodbye…ever, any day!
“I desire for a known he knows me not. An unknown feeling I don’t cherish.” I remember you’ve said. Now, a million pieces of heartbreaks I keep to myself.
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