Love Him...I Mean the Writer

For a long time, I was searching for a suitable inspiration to rejuvenate my otherwise, fading pen. This article published by DAWN, a daily from Pakistan, did it. Thanks to the man who taped the conversation. I am lovin' him.


Read it here: http://www.dawn.com/2011/05/05/dead-man-and-the-sea.html

Tere Liye...

दर्द की क़ैद से लील'लाह बचाले मुझको
अब सुकून धुन्दती है, ख़ाक नज़र मेरी...

My Veritable Thought

At times, I surprise myself to extreme. This is one for record that made me realize ‘what’ve I spoken’. In fact, I am poked to make speech ‘like this’ not realizing the veracity of my words being so profound and truthful.

“Men can never be loyal. He was not even loyal to his own God when he ate the fruit from the ‘Tree of Wisdom’. Ah! Then, he goes shy and put his cowardice act to be the ‘fallen hero’ and gain sympathy. But did ‘ye talk about Eve – fallen, disgraced, cursed yet; she remain loyal to ‘her master’ throughout.

Gays have more of woman in them. Don’t you know we love loyally and disgraced always,”

I am Humble Citizen (With No Voice)

Amidst the recent uproar and candle-light marches for Anti-corruption in India’, I maybe a humble citizen with almost no voice yet I like to say a few things to the committee setup for Lokpal Bill and government.

If we look at the key issues that led to the movement, they are:

1. Politicians and bureaucrats misuse their power and primarily involve with act of bribery. A major portion of which goes into their own pocket through ‘International banking accounts’.
2. Politicians involved within scam or other corrupted practices, enter into the election fray, unless they are declared ‘guilty’ by the court of law. 
3. Our court practices or judicial system is cumbersome and articulate which invariable lessen the effect of ‘being punished’ if people are found to be involved in corruption. 
4. What makes the system fail is largely the association of investigating agencies and committees setup the government which are either ‘hand-in-glove’ or ‘feeble’ to act bravely and honestly.
5. Punishment orders sanctioned under the court of law either fee-penalty or years of bail able imprisonments.

So, although we claim to be the largest democratic nation we are prey to authoritarian cudgels. The reason, I can’t support for a negative voting, as many have said is because it involves ‘extra cost to the country’ and ‘a debatable issue’ for when to conduct a negative vote. Therefore, what remains to us are few of the options:

• A parallel process of top-down and bottom-up system should be taken into consideration. Receiving bribe, if considered as a crime, it is equivalent to offer a crime. Thus, government also has the equal right to maintain a check-and-balance. It also instills a fear among the commoners to offer bribe and get prosecuted. 
• Individuals with criminal or corrupt records, even if not prosecuted or found guilty under the court of law, should not have right-to-vote and right-to-elected. Information about MLAs, MLCs, and MPs should be available over the public domain to review prior to each parliamentary session. 
• Special fast-track courts should be setup to try the cases with information available to the public to monitor and review the court proceedings. The investigative bodies should be independent and free to submit their report without any sanctions from Law Ministry. Rather, President or Vice President of the country could have a ruling on the same.
• Individuals found to be guilty in the cases, should be punished heavily with both fee-penalty and years of imprisonments. Additionally, the scammed amount should be confiscated by selling the properties of accused and his/ her family members (who are indirectly benefitted) and return to the Treasury.
• Importantly, the committees entrusted to look upon the cases should be accountable and free to act independently reporting directly under the supervision of President or the Vice President of the country.
• Transparency is important to eradicate ‘corruption’ from the civil society. Secrecy within a business and the failure to disclose important information about specific projects can facilitate the payment, receipt and concealment of bribes. Given the challenges posed by distance and unfamiliarity with overseas customs and regulations, businesses may wish to consider how to monitor the implementation of anti-bribery procedures in overseas offices and business partners.
• A review committee or President should be made accountable to inspect and verify the sanctity of the commission and its weekly proceedings. An independent review committee overlooking the Investigating Commission and Personnel can be helpful in providing agencies undergoing structural change, or accessing records, with an insight into the strengths and weaknesses of its anti-bribery policies and procedures and in identifying areas for improvement.

It’s hard to claim to be honest but trying to be one can be beginning step.       

What's Wronging If Gandhi is Gay?

Shot inside a tacky studio, the black and white photograph with two men dressed in loose-fitted casuals each spotting a prominent moustache and a bald head; could be anything but least impressive unless some chirpy birdie inform you ‘they’re couple’. A shrill passes through your veins and widened the iris to read through. (O! Yea…). The man on the left has his right foot angled above and slighted to other man’s feet. The burly man seated on the right has his toe arched to the angled feet. [I spotted…I spotted… I spotted…Yea!] Ain’t it another homoerotic fantasy? (Duh!)

The photograph would never had find its place in the history of mankind unless you’re been told – That’s Mahatma Gandhi with Herman Kallenbach. Salacious! A naughty smirk smoothens your facial muscle and you wink.

A revolutionary from the Asian peninsula, by his own right, who inspired the country of billions and many other nations to fight for independence lost his own to ‘Mahatma-ism’. Ah! It’s tough to be ‘God’ or ‘God-like’ coz’ you live with the fear of being crestfallen. The Gandhi, we know, is a victim of avatar-syndrome and remained controversial throughout his life and after. Torn between Puritans and Radicals – Gandhi remain as a subject to experiment for multifarious truth untold. Coincidentally, he himself has authored ‘My Experiments with Truth’ to flag. Do Gods or God-like men have sex?

Ssshhh…! Are you on weeds?

Heavens! Weeds were generously chewed by Lelyveld who in a high; was busy sniffing the stinking Gandhi’s loincloth that smelt of Her-man. Agree, ‘the white westerners has a morbid fascination for Gandhi’s sexuality’ but then, such a colorful personality who once lived in his see-through loincloth and traveled bare-chested and sleeping naked with 17-year old Manu (his great niece) and other young women, is enough to fuel the fascination. But…I’ve a question.

Gandhi wrote many letters which are studied by scholars to gain an insight to the mind of this ‘great man’ and contributed to cement his position as ‘Mahatma-to-the-world’. Many of these letters talk about his views on nakedness, sexual chastity, state of yogic self-control, strive for spiritual purity that the world has read and accepted hands-down. Then, why there’s a clamor when certain biographer’s extract shows him as ‘racist and homosexual’. What are we more concerned – Gandhi being ‘a racist’ or ‘a homosexual’?

I believe it’s the later one – homosexuality. It is the tabooed word, in a traditionally-thickened society that everyone practices, in their closet, but never agrees to the term. Whether blame it to the archaic rule sanctioned and imposed by the British Government OR the boxed Indian values that practiced as social customs – dual Indian values on homosexuality is an evident. So, the new biographer when reveal ‘a homosexual Gandhi’ – The Nation and those with a capacity for sane and logical thinking were hurt. Gandhi could be anything but never ‘homosexual’. (Ha! Ha!)

As a gay, I might be a depraved, immoral filth but the term ‘Upper House’ and ‘Lower House’ is evidently homoerotic signatures and quoted in Gandhi’s letter to Herman. So, he claimed to be the ‘giver’ while Herman though ‘macho’ receives. (Wink, wink!) Interestingly, a close scrutiny of rare footages makes me believe that ‘the great man’ is quite effeminate. Look at his sitting postures, feeble tone: and a quote from Manuben “…Gandhi as my new Mother”. My various escapades for sex with wild and robust men who claimed to be ‘Upper House’ show signs of effeminacies after years.  Thus, they turn into ‘Lower House’ as they grow old. Similar resemblance can be found from Gandhi’s self-proclamation, “…by becoming a woman” as Bose written in his autobiography.

But, my intent to write this blog is NOT to assassinate the character of somebody who’s god-like, because irrespective of his flaws and follies, he remain a great inspirer to the world through non-violent practices. In simple terms, he’s indeed a great man but definitely not ‘a Mahatma’. The intent is to analyze the issue of ‘gay-ism’ in a society, where I live, after Article 377 has been castrated.   

     

Whether, Gandhi nurses homosexual tendencies and prefer ‘men’ over ‘women’ in his personal life is strictly a private issue which needn’t be hurtful, if the society accept ‘homosexuality’ as a normal act.  Except of the fact, we can’t beget but definitely ‘try it hard’. [Gosh!] Let, Gandhi be not judged for what he prefer rather accept him the way ‘he was’ because he ain’t a Mahatma but, ‘Father of the Nation’ deservingly. So, is homosexuality around you – accept it with no snigger or shame coz’ they are one among ‘you’.

It doesn’t burns, mutilates, defaces, defiles, disfigures, destroys, or tramples upon your faith. It needs a support and recognition to remain humane. So is Gandhi who will remain ‘Gandhi’ – whether gay or un-gay.

A World Cup...Till Then!

The party stopped, the flags didn’t waive, a deafening silence fall as billions of Indians watch the ‘Lord of Cricket’ walked back to the dressing quarters as the team grasping at 31/2. For past 28 years…the multiplying billions have waited and now, they have to wait more.

Cricket, [through un-written law] is not a gay-ish game rather looked down compared to rugby yet made me seat at the edgy corner and bite the nails exasperatedly. The moments are getting tough, real, and suffocating. But ain’t World Cup is all that especially when your team is fighting for the title.

I was barely 8 years old to understand the importance but definitely a proud witness to 1983 Prudential Cup when Kapil Dev lifted the cup amidst jubilation and surprises that created a history in itself. Past 28 years, we reminiscence the historic moment; we watch the moment telecasted and re-runs until hope deflates. Till the year 2011 happened…

The adrenaline rush, the edgy seats, the swooning-thumping-and-deafening roars hold a perfect stage for the billion people to wish for a dream. And, what a match it is? Indian team with a staggering start turned as fighter hitting every ball and then a big SIX for the finale. Everything else then was a history. The maidens [Zaheer] bowled, haunting apparitions of failed Tendulkar and Sehwagian era, and wayward Sreesanth who over-spelled – all now a part of history that no one care.

What remains is! A revelry. I was barely eight and once Kapil Dev lifted the cup I went back to sleep. But, twenty-eight years later I realized what is meant when dream comes true. Was been out for while...its a reverly going around my house. Crackers! Horns! Screams! And a World Cup to every billion of us. (I can't stop smiling for the past 15 minutes now.)

Emotionally Yours...

Let me burn the bridges between you and me…

The dark soil will then leads to the path

…with burning embers of anguish

Nazist-Fascist Corporate Fool

I ain’t surprised to one of the recent reports (indialeaks.in) where a self-promoted professor namely Saxena is given the charge of director after his predecessor completed the term. The controversial claim happened to scrutinize Mr. Saxena’s unconstitutional moves such as appointing a Dean with dubious records, reviewing and reversing the past orders, and made a mess of the entire teaching business.

The icing on the cake was however remains as he took the ‘cherry’ to himself by promoting himself without forming any expert committee. Holy Jesus! He has taken every rule for a ride. The news report concluded with a plea to raise the voice against injustice.

I’ve something to add. This is not one such case but only reported. Personally, I know atleast one such high-handed person who’s a self-proclaimed follower to Hitler and support the Devil’s mind emotion. The man, like Saxenaji, has been terminated by the past-employee on the ground of lack of competency managed to have occupied a crème-da-crème position with another competitor (thanks to slacked HR policy). Among the unchallenged liliputians thus, he hold a durbar thronged with equally incompetent courtiers and make fuzzy mess unreported.

I’m happy to know another Saxena-in-closet and grant him a 21 ballistic salute with a hope that one of those bullets will hit [his] groin. Amen!

Pizza Delivery @10 A.M.

When the global recession was melting the world market, I was securely into a job which need to me be seated for a strenuous hours to get the hard-earned moolah. Most of these, however, go back to the market – shopper malls and fast food joints, as I am one of the self-proclaimed fine diner. But, how vulnerable could be my life I wouldn’t have realized unless I had the experience of talking to a tele-operator who called upon me.

The event occurred on a Sunday morning, 10:15 A.M. to be precise. After dodging the streaming traffic at Begumpet main road and having exchanged cuss-word with couple of auto-drivers; I finally hoped into ‘one’ with faulty meter (discovered later). It was then the operator called me while I was busy making a mental map of grocery items to add, subtracts or multiply for the month.

Struggling to remain seated with constant dribbling and bumps, I have shown much of chivalry to the highly accented lady on the other side, which normally I don’t do. The fault lies with me indeed! [However, given here is extract of the conversation between me and lady operator from Dominos Pizza, Hyderabad]

Operator: “Hey low saar! I am culling from Dominos Pizza and we got e-special[l…] tan-percent off on Double Bust pizza with Choco-Lava cake at Rs. 25/- Free.”

First, it was a shock then I was fumbled with the idea of how could twenty-five rupees for a choco-lava cake could be considered ‘Free’. But, I was more flabbergasted with what is expected from me hence, I grumpily asked the lady with a twitched expression.

Me: “O-K! What you wanna me to do now?”

Operator: “Yes saar!”

Me: “What yes? What you want?”

Operator: “Saar, you get e-special[l…] offer from Dominos of 10% for ordering Double-bust pizza…”

Me: Are you going to return me the money for the pizza I have ordered last night?

Conversing with most tele-operators from retail sector worthily boost your morale of being ‘well-learned’ compared to fellow callers. It’s a myth, like many others, among us [Indian] to believe that we are more learned than many of the world population because we help them to make the computers. The truth is, those among us who use these computers hardly understand a well-constructed statement in English using American or British grammar irrespective. The lady is the fine example of what not to speak to a tele-operator working in India.

Operator: What sir?

Me: What “what sir”? I’m not getting what you wanna say. BTW, I’m on road. I am travelling. You can call me later.

Operator: Saar, sir! One minute.

Me: Now, what?

Operator: Saar, if you order a double-pizza now you get 10% off as per the scheme. You’re one of the chosen candidates from our database who get to win this offer.

Me: OK, fine. I’ll keep a note of that when I place an order. And, thanks for that.

Heavens! Either she is dumb or it is me. It take both of us 7-minute to get to the actual motif of the call. Undeniably and humbly, I was elated because I haven’t had the opportunity to win anything ‘Free’ or ‘On Offer’ so far in my lifetime. Bless the lady and the company. But, I think there were more unimaginable surprises in store which I have to counter.

Operator: Sir, you need to place the order now to get the offer.

Me: What you mean ‘NOW’?

Operator: I mean, you can place the order for any double-bust pizza with us. Can I take your order?

This left me to a bizarre state. I am baffled, amused, annoyed, fumbled and deeply puzzled. And, surely it could leave others into a same mindset if somebody asks you to eat a double-breasted or busted pizza at 10’o clock in the morning while you’re on your way to grocery store. I should have disconnected the call by making myself believe it’s one of the regular jokes which you get on other day. But I couldn’t and carried that for some more time. What a waste?

Me: W-HAT? You wanna me to eat a double-busted pizza at morning 10:30 while I am on road inside an auto. Is this a kind-a-joke?

Operator: You can place the order now. We will deliver it to your add-rest

Me: Holy Jesus! Who hired you? Who gave you the job, honey?

Operator: Par-don me.

Me: What holy shit is this? You are calling me at morning 10’ish with damn’ offer and expect me to eat a double breasted or busted pizza while I am travelling on road. What made you think somebody would ever respond to such weird calls.

Operator: I am sorry sir…

Me: You better be. And, for holy sake put down that goddamn’ receiver.

The audacious operator, however, not sure whether I am asking her to send me a parcel or not so she confirmed, “What should I write sir? Interested or Not Interesting.” My patience however, has been tested to the full throttle and I have no more.

Suddenly, I was reminded of old saying “It’s dangerous to argue with a fool”. So, I disconnected the phone and shifted my attention to the faulty meter to start a fresh argument.

Emotionally Eroded

…in fact, I’ve start to erode gradually but fast. A careful comparison with things around brought me close to telephone set in my house which, in a mobile world, gone silent to extinct. So, am I.

From a geeky, ambitious, with bouts of random emotional overflow at the drop of hat, I’ve been to force to live in a burrow, cajoling myself to daydream to remain engaged neurotically. I fast more often, help myself to get hourly glistening, and silent. I’ve become extinct.

It’s hard to remain alive with so much of constant erosion – professionally and personally occurring at the same time. And, I’m drained off thinking ‘why the world been so harsh to me’. A silence reverberates. So, till I’m prescribed dead I’m left to breathe and emotionally eroded.