[Excerpts from a long conversation between me and K. Part of the excerpts are changed to English so that others don’t share the common mother-tongue could read.]
...
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K: Do you’ve a steady girlfriend?
Me: [with a twitched brow] I HAVE WAT…
K: Girlfriends r not aliens. You heard me correct. Do have 1? A steady one…
Me: Why? Can’t a man live without a woman? I don’t have any…steady/unsteady… whatever!
K: I jus asked. But one needs to have. It’s difficult to live without a partner.
Me: I disagree…
Yes. I disagree and to confess I’m a loner. I’ve adjusted. I accepted. You don't understand. A kind of longing always follows me like a shadow of my own. It was when I was happiest that I longed most and it was on happy days, when loneliness haunts me more than anything. Everything seems to be strange and drifting. A great ennui stretches its arms and says lovingly, “Psyche come”!
Ah, the plaintive cry of “something is missing” rings deep in heart with empty eyes fixated to the great walls standing high…festooned with moments of being unloved. I’ve sensed listlessness in my palms. (I pull the most sharpest of the razor blades and slashed my wrist watching the burgundy blood washing down my sins.)
Huh! To tell’ ya K. People drain me, even the closest of friends, and I find loneliness to be the only state to live in. I was the old stuff toy passing hands, who cared?
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